


popcorns & prats

by cominupforair



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Eventual Fluff, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Like lots of it, M/M, Mutual Pining, New Year's Fluff, New Year's Kiss, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-22 09:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22280521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cominupforair/pseuds/cominupforair
Summary: In which Merlin really wants to spend NYE on his own, but Arthur is a prat.Written for The Merlin/Arthur Kiss Fest 2019
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 436
Collections: The Merlin/Arthur Kiss Fest 2019





	popcorns & prats

**Author's Note:**

> This is how I spent NYE: panicking and writing a fic where Merlin puts up with Arthur's _arthurness_ on NYE. Hope you enjoy it :) 
> 
> **TW** : mentions of panic attacks and their symptoms

Merlin hates New Year’s Eve, fiercely. He’s not opposed to parties, fireworks, music and champagne. Gods, he loves champagne, just not on New Year’s Eve. He’d rather stay home, fall asleep and wake up the next morning (more realistically he’ll wake up when his neighbours start singing YMCA at the top of their lungs like they do every single time when the clock strikes twelve). 

  
It’s just that every year at around 10-11pm he starts overthinking. He mulls over the bad shit that happened and then he starts fearing that the new year will be worse, and he won’t be strong enough to brave through it. He knows it’s futile and stupid, but his brain is wired like that and he can’t do anything to stop it. It’s a recipe for disaster, really, and he never fails to begin the new year with a raging panic attack. 

  
He started having his ritual NYE’s panic attack when he was 9. At the time he didn’t know what had caused it, hell, he barely knew it was a panic attack. At the old age of 23 Merlin has come to realise that it was probably due to a shitload of childhood trauma including (but not only limited to) his parents’ divorce, his father’s death, the move to London and being the new kid with protruding ears at school. 

  
As a teenager he tried a new strategy. What better way of avoiding the “NYE shitshow” (as he liked to call it) then getting absolutely wasted and not thinking about it? Well, that didn’t work out well because beginning the new year throwing up in the loo with a panic attack was even worse than having a plain panic attack. 

  
At the age of 23 Merlin is old enough to understand that the only viable solution is pretending NYE is a day just like the others. That way he can mull over his shitty life on his own, successfully reign in the NYE-induced anxiety and step into the new year without a raging panic attack. 

  
That’s why this year Merlin has nothing planned but a solo movie marathon on his couch, as far away as possible from any clock that could remind him of the upcoming new year. 

He can also find relief in the fact that his friends have finally understood that he’s not ditching their parties because he doesn’t want to be with them, but because being alone means that it’ll all be easier for him. He won’t have to get paranoid about ruining his friend’s parties too.

  
He’s alone and if he gets a panic attack, no matter how bad it gets, it will be over in a couple of hours. 

—

What Merlin hadn’t taken into account was his flatmate Arthur. 

Arthur is popular. Arthur isn’t supposed to be home on New Year’s Eve. Arthur is the last person Merlin wanted to see on NYE. 

But it definitely _is_ Arthur. Merlin would recognise his anywhere. It might be the way he closes the front door, or the sound his slippers make on the carpet, or the fact that Merlin has a huge cru- Merlin has nothing. _Nothing_. It’s just that he’s been living with the prat for two years and he’s learned to recognise him. That’s all. 

  
“What are you doing here?” Merlin shouts from the living room.  
“Are you asking me what I am doing in my own flat?” Arthur asks, articulating his words like he’s talking to an infant. Merlin might admit that he can see where that impression is coming from. 

  
Merlin hears Arthur moving towards the kitchen, thank god he’s not coming to the living room. Merlin would do a victory dance if that wouldn’t attract Arthur’s attention. Maybe the prat has just forgotten a bottle of prosecco in the fridge and he’ll be out again in a second. 

  
“No, you giant idiot, I mean, why are you home? Aren’t you supposed to be at some fancy party with champagne flowing and scantily-clad models dying to get a chance of sucking you off in the VIP room?” 

  
Not only his mum made him prone to panic attacks, she had also given him an inconvenient sharp tongue that never failed to get him in trouble. The fact that Merlin has been dying to suck Arthur off for months doesn’t necessarily mean that the rest of the world wants to do the same. Even if he knows at least fourteen people that would happily do that. 

Wrong move. Arthur now stands in the kitchen’s doorway, looking at him like he’s an idiot who’s making a fool of himself. Again. 

“Actually no,” Arthur replies, walking out of the kitchen with a bowl of popcorns and sitting next to him on the couch. He then produces a plaid from god knows where and wraps it around their shoulders. 

Arthur looks at him like he’s expecting to be thanked but Merlin would rather die than give him the satisfaction of saying the words. Not when he’s trying not to melt like he does every single time Arthur does something kind and considerate like bringing a blanket when he knows Merlin is cold. 

Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

Merlin just wants him gone from the flat before his brain realises that he’s not alone anymore and he starts panicking. He had refined his plan to the last detail, going out of his way to make sure that all their other flatmates would be busy. He hadn’t thought of Arthur, ok, but he had been 100% sure that Arthur would be partying somewhere else. 

  
He doesn’t want Arthur to be there if – at this point more like _when_ the annual NYE paranoia begins. 

  
“Don’t you have any friends to get alcohol poisoned with?” Merlin asks. 

  
“No” 

  
“Not even a posh party with your father, the mayor and the rest of the elite you Pendragons mingle with?” 

  
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m avoiding.” 

“Fair enough,” Merlin concedes.

  
Arthur nods and props his feet on the coffee table. 

  
Merlin needs to find a way out of this situation. 

“I thought you’d go to Gwen’s party,” Merlin adds, hoping he’ll make Arthur go away. No matter that Arthur is a warm presence next to him, their shoulders nearly touching. He wants him gone. Yes, even if he’s brought him a blanket and pop corns. 

“She didn’t invite me,” Arthur shrugs. And then he asks, “We could go together?”

  
“Where?” 

  
“To Gwen’s party?” 

  
“No.” And Merlin was pretty sure that his no was a No with capital N. 

  
But Arthur is Arthur and he insists, pouting in the way he knows Merlin can’t resist to. 

  
“I said no, why would I go to Gwen’s party when I already said no to her in the first place and she’s my best friend?” 

  
“Because I actually have somebody to kiss at midnight, but I can’t go there without you?” 

Merlin can literally feel his stomach drop, but tries to ignore it. It‘s not Arthur’s fault, it‘s his own fault. He had to go and fall for a straight guy who sees him as nothing more than ticket for the parties he isn’t invited to. No surprise there, really. 

  
“And why is that? Ooh, wait, that must be because at the last NYE party you were so drunk you puked over Vivian’s dress when you tried to kiss her at midnight and then you kept on puking over the appetizers and the bodyguards and Gwen’s great grandmother’s lace centrepiece and-“

  
“Ok, ok, stop it, I get the gist” 

  
“-and her brother’s piano while he was playing said piano and-“ 

  
Arthur throws a pillow at his head in a poor attempt to make him shut up and when that doesn’t work elbows him in the ribs. 

  
“I said stop it, I get it, I get it, I know why Gwen didn’t invite me!” 

Merlin flashes him a smug smile and Arthur collars him in a headlock making them both collapse in a fit of giggles. 

  
“And how do you know what happened? You weren’t even at the party!” 

  
“I have my informants” 

  
“Gwen!” Arthur’s resigned expression is somehow rendered ridiculous by the pout he’s still wearing. 

  
“Yeah” Merlin giggles. 

  
But Arthur is stubborn and won’t let it go. 

  
“Come on, let’s go to the party together!” he insists. 

  
“No, I’m going to stay here!” 

  
“Good, if that’s what you want then I’ll stay here too!” 

—

They’ve been silently watching reruns of Gossip Girl (yes, don’t judge) for almost an hour and Arthur looks like he’s here to stay for real. Merlin doesn’t know what to do. 

  
He knows that he’ll start getting anxious in a matter of minutes and he knows he doesn’t want anyone around. 

  
“Are you really going to stay here all night?” Merlin snaps. 

  
“Yes, any problem?” 

That bastard. 

  
“Yes, I thought I’d be dozing off on the couch on my own, but you’re kind of ruining my plans, so get lost!” He too can be childish when needed, thank you very much. 

  
“Well that was my plan too so it looks like we’ll be sharing the couch.” 

  
“No” 

  
“Yes” 

  
“I said no” 

  
“And for fuck’s sake Merlin why are you home on New Year’s Eve when you could be at Gwen’s?” 

  
“Because I hate New Year’s Eve!” Merlin almost shouts. 

  
“Me too” 

  
“Fine” 

  
“Good” 

  
And that’s how they end up spending another 40 minutes silently watching Blair Waldorf bitching her way through the Upper East Side. Xoxo Gossip Girl. 

—

  
It’s not that Merlin doesn’t like Arthur. Arthur’s a posh entitled brat, but he’s good at heart and, to be honest, Merlin has been harbouring a colossal crush on him for months. 

When they met they hated each other at first sight. And then they came to discover that they had more things in common than they thought and blah blah blah, it was all just a giant cliché. Merlin hates clichés. A stupid Christmas romcom where the two leads hate each other’s guts and then, take a day or two, discover that they’re actually _made_ for each other, get married and have babies. 

  
The only difference is that Merlin is as gay as it gets, Arthur is a fuckboy- no, wait, that sounds like the beginning of yet another romcom, let’s start over. 

  
The only difference is that Arthur simply doesn’t return his feelings and that might be because Merlin never told him he _has_ feelings. He thought he’d been pretty obvious, though. If the “I stare at your abs every time you walk out of the shower wearing nothing, but a ridiculous small towel wrapped around your hips” is any indication. Not to mention all the times Gwaine has more or less subtly told Arthur that Merlin really wants to climb him like a tree or jump on his cock or whatever ugly metaphor Gwaine used. 

So Merlin might be 99.99% sure that Arthur doesn’t return his feelings, but he’s come to accept it. Better be friends than nothing. 

Still he doesn’t want to have a panic attack in front of him. He’s already ruined too many people’s NYE parties, he doesn’t want to ruin Arthur’s night too. 

Merlin’s panic attacks usually started with his stomach acting weird. It tightened and then it closed. And then he felt cold shivers running down his spine. Merlin soon learned to avoid the unwelcomed nausea by avoiding food altogether for at least 24 hours. 

But Arthur has placed his popcorns in the space between himself and Merlin. And then he started live tweeting everything that was happening in Gossip Girl. But _not_ on twitter. Out loud. And with hashtags. After the third time Arthur shouts “hashtag Arthur-is-better-than-GG”, Merlin starts laughing so hard, he doesn’t even realise he started stealing some of the popcorns. Popcorns are barely more than fried air, they won't hurt, right? And if his and Arthur’s hands touch when they put their hands in the popcorn bowl at the same time, well then nobody else has to know. Not even when the touch lingers for a little bit too long. 

  
When Merlin panicked his breath usually got a bit ragged and then he started trembling like a leaf. When it got really bad he threw up, that’s why he always put a bin next to him. His mum would be proud to see how sensible he’s become, no stains on the carpet this time. 

But when Arthur had come in, he’d carelessly thrown his scarf into the bin and Merlin had barely noticed that his safety-net had been compromised by a woolly intruder. How could he notice it when Arthur is sitting next to him and he is laughing in his own special way – head thrown back and mouth open – and Merlin literally cannot take his eyes off him?

So maybe, _maybe_ , Merlin is not going to ruin Arthur’s night. And maybe Arthur is actually a calming presence. 

Maybe it’s actually Arthur who is ruining Merlin’s NYE pity party. 

Because spending the last night of the year panicking is probably still better than spending it arguing with Arthur. And not just arguing, but arguing if Chair, as in Chuck and Blair, was better than Dair, as in Dan and Blair in Gossip Girl. Because, really, people who ship Chair must be blind and the fact that Chair ended up being endgame just proves Merlin’s point. No show ever ended with the right couple being endgame. 

“It’s called growing up, Arthur!” Merlin runs a hand through his hair, blowing out an exaggerated breath. “We all shipped Chair when we were teenagers, the fuckboy with the it girl, you know? It’s when you grow up that you realise Dair is a thousand times better”

“I disagree.”

“Of course you do!” Merlin flops down on the sofa. Arthur should be thankful Merlin is too drained out by the near panic attack or he’d have already gone for his throat. That’s how insufferable Arthur gets when he wants to have the last word. 

“Anyway, the best ship of the decade was probably Marissa and Ryan in The O.C - wait does that ship even have a name?” Arthur continues, unaware of the fact that Merlin’s about to murder him. 

“I have no idea and no, n-o, absolutely not.” 

“Well he did ran to her on NYE just so he could kiss her at midnight, you must admit that was romantic!”

Merlin is going to punch Arthur in the face. 

He knows Arthur is leading him on, and yet he can’t help but ask. “And then why are you not chasing your Marissa right now instead of pestering me?”

Surprisingly Arthur just shrugs. He fidgets with the corners of the blanket still wrapped around their shoulders and doesn’t meet Merlin’s eyes when he says, “My Marissa just doesn’t like me back, thinks I’m an idiot and deserves so much better than me.” 

And that, oh that riles Merlin up. He might be in love with Arthur and Arthur might not return his feelings, but just knowing that there’s somebody out there who has the guts to even _think_ Arthur doesn’t deserve the world irks him. Merlin points a finger at Arthur’s chest. Once, twice, three times. “You really are an idiot. If she thinks she deserves better than you then she, _she_ , doesn’t deserve you. You’re out of your mind if you think _you_ deserve someone who doesn’t value you.” 

Merlin knows he’s rambling, but he can’t help it. He’s flustered and angry and- Merlin doesn’t even realise that Arthur has taken Merlin’s hand in his and he’s holding it. Arthur is holding his hand. And Merlin is shaking. But every time he does, Arthur tightens the grip. 

It’s not Merlin’s fault if his eyes train on their hands, clasped together. Merlin doesn’t think he can ever stop staring at them. But he has to take his eyes off of them, he must, before Arthur realises how hard this little contact is making Merlin blush. 

But when he finally raises his eyes all he sees is Arthur’s face barely a few centimetres from his. Arthur is not even looking at him, he’s staring at a point far in the corner of the room. Those blue eyes look more scared than Merlin had ever seen them before. And it strikes him, just how close they really are. Merlin doesn’t really know what’s going on.

“My - My Marissa is an extremely intelligent person. Brilliant. We didn’t really hit off at first, she’s so different from me. But slowly and steadily she’s changed my life and made it so much better. She used to drive me up the wall with her snarky remarks, her nagging, her messiness. But then she started offering support when I needed it the most while also scolding me when I was being a dick. She is always by my side. At first it was trust and friendship and - and before I realised what was going on it became something else and I now I don’t know how to turn my feelings off. I don’t know if I can or if I want to, to be honest.”

If Merlin’s stomach could leap out of his body it would. Or well, Merlin would definitely prefer it if his stomach removed itself from his body, like _permanently_ , so at least he wouldn’t have to witness the slaughter of the thousands of butterflies that had lodged themselves in it when Arthur had held his hand. 

He tries to think. Who is Arthur talking about? His first thought is Gwen. That’s probably why he was so adamant to go to her party? Maybe. But Gwen has been in a relationship with Lance for years. 

Well then it must be Vivian? Last year she had rejected Arthur after he’d thrown up on her twice on NYE. Okay, okay, but Arthur is Arthur and nobody can say no to him. Except, except that Vivian is anything but what Arthur has described his Marissa to be. 

Then maybe Mithian? She’s witty and charming an-

“And she- she’s not a she.” 

“Hang on - what?” Merlin splutters. 

Merlin’s brain is about to explode. Or maybe it’s just the neighbours who have started the countdown and are taking the house down with their screams. He needs to find a new flat, possibly one without annoying neighbours and paper-thin walls. Also, could his life stop being so cliché just for a second, please?

Ten

“It’s not a girl,” Arthur repeats. 

Nine

“What do you mean it’s not a girl?”

Eight

“It means that she is not a girl. I’m bi, Merlin.”

Seven

“ _Oh_ ”

Six

“In retrospect, I’m taking back everything I’ve said about him just two minutes ago.”

Five

“Why?” 

Four

“Because he’s fucking dumb.”

Three

“Wha-“

Merlin still has absolutely no idea what’s going on when Arthur leans in, takes Merlin’s face in his big hands and plants a kiss on his lips. 

And it’s not romantic. 

It’s not romantic because Arthur doesn’t kiss him at midnight. Technically Arthur kisses him three seconds before midnight. 

It’s not romantic because the neighbours have already started singing YMCA at the top of their lungs. And it’s not romantic because Merlin is still bone-tired from trying to reign in a panic attack for hours. 

But it’s Arthur. 

Merlin had imagined kissing Arthur. He had imagined how Arthur’s lips would feel against his, the slow drag of their mouths sliding together, Arthur’s hand carding through his hair. But the real thing is nothing like Merlin had imagined. It’s Arthur’s lips parting in a small exhale when they break apart. And it’s Arthur fisting his shirt and drawing him in once again. It’s soft and hot and Merlin’s heart is going to leap out of his chest. 

And then Merlin obviously ruins everything.

“I swear if you’re going to call me Marissa, I’m going to punch you in the face.” 

And Arthur, Arthur just cracks up. He shakes his head, _why do I even like this idiot?_ written on his face, but then he cradles Merlin’s neck with his left hand and draws him in for another kiss. Merlin is sure that this is best thing that ever happened in his life. 

Arthur breaks the kiss just to whisper, “I solemnly swear I’m not going to call you Marissa, but I told you I had someone to kiss at midnight.” And he smiles against Merlin’s lips, smug and happy. 

“Technically you didn’t kiss me at mid-“

Arthur shuts him up with another kiss, before he can ruin the moment once again. 

Merlin never liked clichés, but he thinks he maybe likes this one. 

**Author's Note:**

> PS: the sentence "no show ever ended with the right couple being endgame" might or might not be a jab to the Merlin writers ;) 
> 
> I'd love to know what you thought of this fic! Kudos, comments, and feedbacks are all loved and appreciated <3


End file.
